The Theft Protection

Myths and Facts About Identity Theft


(AH – AH – AH)
(laughing) Oh, god.
Oh my god!
Hello everybody! My name is Markiplier and welcome to “Granny”
This is the first time I loaded up so I didn’t know that Granny was going to be looming over me.
Okay, so this is a horror game where you’re trapped in granny’s house.
I don’t know why – no I’m afraid to ask why but we’re gonna – we’re gonna just go for it.
You practice – granny is not home?
You can explore the house, granny moves a bit slower. No creaking floors, image effects…? quality, high
Let’s pump up the graphics, image effects. Yeah, bring ’em on here
Okay, so tip: Be quiet
She hears everything, keep in mind that if you drop objects on the floor
It creates sound, hold F to free yourself from bear traps (laughing) … hide under beds or in cabinets
You have five days, use headphones for best experience
Get out of there!
Who is this, grandpa? You only have five days. All you need is in the house and be quiet
She hears everything and Granny is (giggling) crazy!
It’s like all those horror games that I played in the past where I’m like:
“Grandma, no!”
This one it really is
“Grandma, no!”
Hmm
Just a-
*high-pitched squawk*
(echoing) Hi?
Okay… Just a lovely walk in the woods
Am I trying to – Oh, hey isn’t that the way I just came from?
Are we trying to dig up a body here? Are we trying to banish a ghost?
Are we trying to do something about something? I saw that!
I-wai-wait a minute!
Wait, hang on. Um, I don’t – did anybody else see that or am I crazy?
I’m pretty sure I saw grandma standing in the woods and uh… (nervous laughter)
Oh! Hi! Ow!
Oh, Okay
Alright, thanks grandma!
Grandma, you always know how to treat me right!
Grandma…You are just the best. You’re the sweetest. I love you.
Love you Grandma.
Grandma, I love you.
Grandma, love you.
Oh, no, how am I gonna get out of here (laughing)
I have no idea how to get out of here!
Okay, well at least I get a flashlight that’s always helpful
Ooh!
Hey, so everything makes noise, huh? “Leave this house” Oh, really?
Okay..
(Vase clanks)
(Laughs) Did that do anything?
Ah bah-boom – no grandma, no
(inhale)
Grandma, no. Grandma did. Grandma, yes!
How do I turn off my flashlight? Is there even a way?
Granny: Where are youuuu?
Mark: Grandma
Grandma no
(Footstep)
Wo-wa-whoa-wo-wo
woah Grandma! Grandma! Grandma!
Listen…
Listen….
Oh, ow god. You got to stop doing that Grandma! Grandma, you have to stop doing that!
(Laughter) Oh, God, fuck!
Day two!
Okay, well
Looks like we don’t get many chances here…
Oh
Okay
So that’s like the trick – I gotta drop this. Oh shit. Oh, shit
Oh shit!
Oh snap – I gotta drop that
And then she opens that door.
Then I can get out.
That’s the trick right? That’s the trick. Okay, so it’s a series of pou-zles
What do you mean – what are you giggling about? Why you giggling?
I’m just gonna –
Ooh!
OH!
I can’t see anything through this goddamn grate because the light won’t go off
Okay, I’ma go for it (stealthy)
I wish I could turn this light off. Pretty sure she could see where the light’s coming from
Oh, I don’t like these shadows
Shadows are a little too intense for me
(Gasp) Ooh, Those are fun – those look fun
Um – Oooh, gone! Alright – Ah! I – What the hell?
Grandma! Grandma NO! Grandma that’s BAD.
Jeezum Stevums.
That’s no good (giggles)
That’s no bueno, Grandma. You gotta stop!
I’ve got so much brain damage! 🙁
I’ve got so much. I can’t think straight – I don’t remember my birthday, I don’t remember where I was born!
I’m gonna start thinking you are my grandma! Yes, I’m nowhere. I’m nowhere. Listen, I’m nowhere.
I’m just a grandma like you, I am nowhere and EVERYWHERE!
LIKE YOU ARE!
(Lock noise) Did you just unlock another door? Grandma, did you just unlock another door?
Because that’d be great that – that’d be wonderful actually, if you just unlocked another door, I’d be so happy.
So happy.
You there? Grandma?
I don’t trust it. I’m gonna wait until grandma goes downstairs. I’m pretty sure I’ll be able to tell when grandma goes downstairs
I’m pretty sure that’s something that’s gonna be obvious.
♪I don’t know what’s happening♪ –
– ♪I don’t know what’s going on!♪
Okay. All right. It’s been long enough. I guess
I guess I just got to go for it, right?
(whispering) Grandma? Not here.
I’m gonna try to go in here. Okay. We’re good close that door. Okay. All right.
I got a cogwheel!
*floorboard creaks* Oh shit, oh shit, oh snap.
Part of a shotgun? *clattering noise*
(Gasp) Uh, Oh. AH – GOD DAMNIT!
Ahh, Ahh
GOD – I can’t…
I can’t get out. I can’t get out, grandma! Grandma, let me out! I’ve got so much brain damage!
I’ve got strawberry jam in my eyes!!!
Grandma, please … Please grandma, I just want to live
Grandma, please! Please, I want to get out of here! – Grandma. Grandma please. Please let me go! Grandma!
Okay Grandma …
*Giggling noise*
(Giggling) (demons being released)
Alright – Grandma, you and me, we’re about to go
“Toesies woezies” – we’re gonna – about to go toe to toe in this.
I’m about to show you, I’m about to throw down with grandma
Is what I’m saying here. I’m about to punch grandma.
I’m about to beat – I’m about to beat grandma
Nope. Sounded like she was laying a bear trap just nearby which means that she’s probably gonna come patrolling nearby
And see properly, which I can’t Why can’t I tell where *she* is?
Why is *she* so tiptoe quiet?!
Why does grandma not make noise?! Why does grandma get a +2 to stealth?
Okay, I’m gonna go for it
Going off to the right. Okay, there’s another- there’s another, uh, thing in here. So that’s good.
Oh, shit, shit, fuck, shit, fuck (yells)
Nothing’s happening! Nothing’s happening- I’m pooping, I’m pooping again- I’m uh- fappin’!
Grandma I’m just trying to be honest with you. You don’t want to come in here. It’s bad news. I’m- dohh
Grandma, don’t. Grandma just don’t.
(quietly) Grandma where are you?
Where’d you go?
(Nervous laughter)
(Intensifying nervous laughter)
Grandma, we’re having so much fun!
Grandma, we’re just uh laughing! I love visiting you, Grandma. Grandma, please. Just leave me alone.
I don’t know where she went. I don’t know if she went downstairs, or if she went somewhere else upstairs. I don’t know.
All I know is that I can’t stand up and walk around ’cause it creaks the floorboards – my tippy tootsies on the wood
Just too much weight.
Creakin’ up a storm – O.K. I’m gonna go for it.
Is there anything in here that I need – I don’t think there would be
*floorboards creak*
(quiet) why the fuck are you kidding me
(gasp) HEY- YOU- No, listen- Listen to me, grandma
You didn’t s- Oh! Fuck
I- How can you… (laughing) How can you do this?
How would you be able to win?
Okay, I’m gonna do a different strategy here. Okay. What I’m gonna do is I’m gonna drop the vase down
Over here farther away. Lap that there, go here
Then in here and then as soon as she goes in I’m gonna book it out of here. This is gonna work guys
Hey, all of you are doubting me
I’m booking it. Here we go
(whispering) Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah-
O- Ow!
My toots-
Oh! God!
If there wasn’t one of those there I would have been fine
Oh
God ow- grandma, please, granny
Granny please
Grandma..
Oh no, grandma..please..
(muttering) Not like this…
Not like this Grandma
AHHH!
OH, DON’T KISS ME-don’t do that!

Ohh Grandma-KISSES
Ohh… I hate this game, this game
makes me feel weird. I feel creepy crawly. I don’t like Grandma
Grandma’s just the worst. I don’t like grandma at all… can I get no creaking floors? Just
Just just just I’m gonna do this on easy cuz I-ub-err I can’t do
I can’t do it on anything else
All right day one I’ve got this. I’ve got this it’s on easy now
This should be no problem. Granny ain’t gonna get me. There’s no creaky floors. There’s no nothing. Grandma ain’t gonna get me
Grandma, no go get me blah. Grandma ain’t gonna get me
Grandma ain’t gonna get me. I’m gonna blow my blast. I’m gonna do the same strategy
I’m a blast out of here slow-ass grandma ain’t gonna get me
You have created what you oh, there you are. Oh, there you are. I see you go ahead blasting OH three, two, one blast
Three two one blast three two one. What’s that? Oh, I don’t know a soup ladle or something. You don’t hear nothing
(whispering) Where are you Granny?
Where’d you go Granny? Where you at? Where you at Granny? Oh, what’s this? Okay, we’ve got something else here. Ooo
Oh
*loud cracking* AH-AH-AH I AM FALLING! I fell! I fell! And I’m dead! GOD DAMN IT! DAMN IT ALL!
Damn you Grandma!
And your traps. Damn you grandma! That’s clever. That’s pretty clever. That’s, that was pretty clever
I gotta leave this place, I gotta get outta here.
All right. Grandma, if that is your real name?
I’m peepin’ my eye hole real near this. I’ve got my eye peepers… set on you.
Oh yeah, Grandma. You think that you’re gonna get away with what you’ve gotten away with- are you coming over here or what?
Grandma? Gram-Grandma?
*vase clinking*
Gramma? How about that?
Did that tickle your whistle Grandma? Shuffling over here with your old creaky bones. Oh, yeah. Grandma. Yeah. That’s- yeah, that’s it. Yeah, that’s great
That’s it. Grandma. Yeah, okay. All right all right Grandma- aand zooom!
(gasp) Shit!
Okay, I bypassed it ’cause Imma boa- imma boass alright, Let’s go back up here and lets not fall th- (creepy laughter)
Alright, let’s go back up here and let’s not fall th-
*creepy voice* (Do you want to play hide and seeeek?)
You know I do, you know I love that game, okay, so that’s a no-go
That’s a definitive no-go on that, good to know. Now I can see where she is. I cannot see where she is
I have no idea. Oh-
There she is- okay. She just went in there
Okay, so I should be clear to go downstairs now
Yeah yeah yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah, yeah oh shit oh
I’m gonna hit it, oooohhhhhhhh…
It’s fine. It’s fine. It’s just a little, little, little, flesh wound. It ain’t nothing. Oh, that’s not a hidey hole. Okay, this is a bahhh…
a broom handle or a shotgun piece? I don’t know. Maybe I can shoot grandma. Okay, I bafoosh
I don’t know, eyeball? okay
Granny: Where are yoooou?
Mark: Nowhere
and everywhere!
(whispering) Where’d you go?
I don’t know where you went.
Part of a shotgun?
*clatter*
Oooh SHIT (Gasp) OOOH
o0O…Oh, that’s not good.

Oh ab-
Ahhh okay, so she’s not very fast, she’s not fast, which is good
She’s not fast and she’s apparently blind I imagine cuz she lives in the dark here. Okay
Oh I don’t know how to combine these things. So
*scary gramma laughs* Ugh
Okay… what is this
What is that a picture of Grandma? What if I make a picture of Grandma, it’ll just like
Banish her from existence or something? What is that?
I don’t know what that is… Oh good more basement. Great more basement got a slub- sublevel
Bullshit is- *loud scrape* I didn’t do that. That was not me. That was definitely, definitively not me
You think that she would check the shiny box with a light? She IS blind. She must be blind
She must be blind.
Ooh
She’s got to be blind, that’s got to be the thing, she’s blind
Granny: I seee yooou
Mark: Okay, all right that definitely poked some holes in my blind theory (giggles)
But
How else would I be able to shine this light like this?
Oh wow, just casually toss that out of your pants, huh? A sauna, pfft. All right. Yeah sure a sauna. Okay. Uh
Ooo… OHHH
(Gasp)
Oh I can make a shotgun, Imma do that, I just Ooo shit. Okay. Well,
Can I-
Can I get rid of these? Somehow or something?
Okay, it’s upside-down. Anyway, it dudd’n matter.
Okay
Oh
Put this here I guess, I don’t know what that does, I don’t know what that does- but, I’m assuming that’s important.
Lemme get this shotgun piece. Let me go put this in, I’m gonna build a shotgun. I’ma shoot grandma. (laughter)
In the face, I’ma shoot grandma in the face. I am going to shoot grandma in the face pretty much.
Okay, there’s only one more piece missing
She might be coming down here. She can’t be blind. She’s not blind that old bat. She sees-
*creepy laughter*
You coming down here? Eh?
Grandma, oh don’t be pooping out more bear traps. I don’t know what kind of thing you got in between your legs
I don’t even want to think about that but it better not be a bear trap machine because that’s just no good
That’s no good for anybody. Not good for me. Not good for you
Not good for the environment first and foremost, which is what I care about the most
Okay, so the last shotgun piece might be in like, the upper rooms
Oh, FUCK
Oh shit dude
OW
That hurt.
Okay, but it might be up- *tinkling*
oh, um, eeh ooh
Nu nu nu nu nu nu- it might be up in the room that I haven’t gone in yet
I’m looking for like something with a shooty bang device.
Oh hi Grandma. Oh Grandma. No, listen, Grandma. No Grandma. Listen
LISTEN, LISTEN GRANDMA. Okay. Grandma. You’re fine. You’re fine. You’re fine. Okay
*tinkling* Dingaling, grandma, you’re beautiful and all that jazz
Engine part that’s not what I’m looking for. God damn it, an engine part? Really, an engine part? This is a big slappin’ paddle
What am I gonna do with a fricken slappin’ paddle? I don’t know what this is for.
Oh, for the car, duh. It’s an engine. Ding! Oh.
Oh
Oh!
Oh hello, let me put this in the engine first.
(Gasp) OH! OH! OH!
I’M GOIN’ IN THE HOLE, I’M GOIN’ IN THE HOLE GRAMMA! I’M IN THE HOLE!
I don’t know if you can go in the hole too – I don’t know. Okay, alright- I don’t know. What is this?
“This is my fifth day in the South. She chases me wherever I go. I’m quite injured my body hurts
The only thing I remember before I woke up in this house is that I was driving when my car
Suddenly broke down. I went out to see what the problem was when someone suddenly hit me in the head
I managed to open a pair of locks on the front door, but that’s all. Why does she do this?
I hope no one will experience the same thing as I do, if I do not survive this, if someone finds his message I’ve noticed
that she sometimes hides things inside fruits.”

Oh.
In fruits you say? Righty righty, right as rain *thunk* uh-oh
Okay, what else do I need? I need a wrench? Okay, that’s fine
Closing this just in case, I don’t know if she’s coming down here, but she might.
So, let’s be a little cautious
Now, shall we.
*creepy giggling*
Okay, I think I’ve got Grannys number, the problem
Last time is I was too. I was too scared of her. Right? I needed to be more aggressive, I needed-
*clank*
ooh shit, I needed to be out on my way, a lot more than I was this time. So I might do that
I’m gonna do exactly that
Okay, let’s go. We’re gonna go.
Oh, she put that up Oh, that’s nice of her
Very meticulous. I’m gonna go in here
I’m gonna see where this goes. I don’t know where
What is this? Oh, this isn’t good. This is not good
This ain’t good. This is not good
This is not gonna lead to anywhere fun. Is it?
Oh, it’s not
What? What the fuck?
WHAT?
Whah? Oh de-err, oh
Ju-de-waha?
Oh
OHH…She’s got a freaking guillotine?
Why does she have a guillotine?!
What’s in here that I need? How many things are hidden in this game? Okay I’ma ringaling this bell.
*ringaling*
Hopefully she can come out here and then open up that path, that’ll be helpful
*CLANK*
(GASP)
I don’t know what that was
I don’t know what that was. I need another piece of a shotgun so I can blow! Granny’s! HEAD OFF!
*click*
There she goes, she’s going outside. Perfect
Easy, easy street, easy street for me.
Need a car key
Aww shit
Spark plug, and a wrench, and a car battery. That’s so much stuff
Where’s all this stuff. Ooh steamy… nice. That feels good.
*click* Uh oh
Grandma
Du- are you gonna get in the sauna? I bet you are
There’s got to be stuff on the first floor that I haven’t seen
Granny: Where are yooou
Mark: Nowhere
or everywhere
I don’t like how slow you’re movin’ Gramma *clank of beartrap*
Oh, why there?! Oh, why there Gramma? That’s really gonna cause problems for me Gramma.
Okay
*THUNK*
AARGH
Grandma please, Grandma, Gramma!
(GASP) Gramma please,
Gramma- Granny: do you want to play hide and seeeeek?
Mark: No, no, I don’t oddly enough. No I don’t
Something else here, too. Get outta the way, okay. Found another secret passage-OOH OHH! Gramma-
Gramma! Listen, I mean don’t listen don’t listen to a word I say. I can’t be trusted
What is this? I need a screwdriver. How many tools are in this goddamn game?!
How is anyone able to get anything in here?
Okay, what is this-(GASP) the gun! (GASP) The gun the gun the gun the gun the GUN!
The GUN!! I get to shoot her! This is gonna work out perfectly
(Laughter)
I’m sure
I’m just gonna be able to go right up to her and blammo whammo
Just right in there till I’m out of ammo. Got the gun. That’s good
Okay *click*
Shotgun *click*
One- shotgun’s loaded. All right
k–g-Grandma! Oh
Grammaaah!
Grandma! I knocked somethin’ over Grandma, that was real naughty of me
Grandma, so why don’t you
uh, come, uh
Discipline me- spank me Grandma. *Shotgun blast* BOOM!
Grandma’s now gone for 2 minutes and 30 seconds?
What is that? Wh-huh-huh-huat that’s it?!
That’s all I get? Okay, what is this? Fuse? Oh-
Fft-gramma’s gone for 2 minutes and 30 sec-OWW
Frick!-get- get it outta here- frick
Goddamn it! Okay. I gotta go. I’m gonna reload this. That’s all I get. That’s two minutes and 30 seconds. Okay
That’s, Grandma is made of some real durable material. But uh
I don’t like that, I don’t like that at all. Okay. Grandma. I’m gonna scoot scooch. I’m actually I’m going here
Because it was still more up that I could have gone in this weird house now that I know that’s only temporary
That’s that’s a unfun. That’s what I would call unfun. Um a book, no that doesn’t help
I’ve got a gun. No, give me the gun
No, give me the goddamn gun
Anything behind here? Yes, of course. There’s always something hidden behind those things. Button? Ho!
Okay, car battery come on, drop this here
Go back and get this. It’s like a doom Easter Egg level, right? Oh battery right there
Let me finish seeing- I need a weapon key. I’ve already got a weapon. Oh
What is this? Where’s this? Ohhhhhh
Wow, ooh
Okay, so here’s a picture
Okay, throw that there just don’t want to keep this gun on me
You know, I just want to make sure I’m juggling everything, but, I got the gun to worry about
throw that, throw that down there. Look at this
I’m making a lot of noise. I’m aware. But I think my survivability is going up way high
I don’t know what the picture is gonna do but uh, I feel I feel good with it. So I’m gonna keep it. Grandma you want to try me?
Gramma are you still knocked out? Are you still- you up and about? Come on just get this painting in grandma’s up
Grandma’s up. Grandma’s up. Grandma’s up. Two more pieces, maybe? Oh Grandma. Listen Grandma. You don’t want it. You- don’t want to test me
You don’t wanna wanna test me. You don’t wanna test me bruh. Where’d my gun go?(GASP) Where’s my gun?
Where’s my gun? No, no
NOOOO!
GRANDMA! Did it clip through the floor or something ohhhohhh
Grandma, no
My GUN- oh, it’s right there. Okay, we’re good. We’re all good, baby. We’re all good. It’s all good, baby
It’s all good, baby. Baby, it’s good
Baby, we’re good
How can I get this in here? I don’t know how to get this. Oh
That probably was noisy, whatever I’ll leave it down here. I’ll go grab the gun
*thunk* (GASP) Oh, shit…which way you goin’? which way you goin’?
Yeaah, yeaah
(Whispers) Stupid lady yea you so STUPID yea you so- oh OH AHH NOOO! GOD I WAS DOING SO GOOD NOOOOO
I just had to call her stupid, I just- ahh fuck I was doing so good, I was doing so good, god damn it I was doing SO GOOD
Where’s my gun gonna be? I have no idea. Probably where I dropped it. All right, here we go
Take two. *clatter* Here we go. Here we go, baby. Let’s go. Let’s go. Let’s go
Come on, let’s go. Gramma! I’m in an indeterminate location. Just come get me
(echoing) GRAMMA! GRAND-MA! GRANDMAMA! GRAMMA GRAMMA GRAMMA GRAMMA!!!
There you are Gramma.
You
Slowpoke. We’re not gonna gun it cuz wow she was- did not go far. She going down the stairs? You’re going down the stairs
Yeah, she’s going down the stairs. There’s also something sparkly on that bookshelf, but I don’t know how to get to that
Oh, you’re coming right back up. Oh, I see you. Oh, I see you grandma. You creepy lady
Doing your weird oh,
Back in here, huh? Back in here huh?
Well that ain’t gonna do you no good because I’m about gun it. Perfect.
Winner. *thunk* (GASP) nooo-I
Am not aware, I forgot about that. I should have known I should have known, okay anything in here? no, anything in here?
No, anything in here? Yes. What is it? AHHH- No! GOD! You’re so quiet!
Why are you so quiet?! Goddammit! (echoing) Why am I so loud?!
God damn dink dammit. Dammit. Dammit. If I lose this after doing all this hard work. I’m gonna be so fucking pissed grandma.
You ain’t gon’ get the best of me Gramma, you ain’t gonna get the best of me.
I’m gonna get the best of me. I always-I always do my best and you’re not gonna be any different.
Oh, I’m not doing so good. I’m not doing so hot,
I’m not doing so hot everybody.
Okay.
Gone baby gone. I can bypass that. Easy.
Not sticking around, I’m just-here-I don’t know what this is. I don’t know what this goes to, some kind of crankshaft
I don’t know why
Ooh more gun
Actually, that’s a good idea. I’m just gonna go get my gun
Screw this lady key. Wait, what did it say? It was kind of what does it say? Shit, play house key
*CLATTER* Ooh ooh ooh nooooooooo noooooooooooo nooooooooo nooooooooooo noooooo!
Grandma’s getting shot! And, uh, three two one
(Gunshot) KABOOOM
It feels so bad. All right, here we go. Here’s this- alright, cool
We’re going on to the playhouse which one led to the playhouse? It was this one. I think this one led to the playhouse. Right, right,
It did-idtidid-itd it definitely did
Okay, we’re gonna get in that playhouse, I don’t know what’s gonna be at the playhouse
But I hope it’s gonna be good for meeeeee!
AAAND MY DREEEEAMS!
Alright let’s go baby.
*clank* Shit. Yeah, she’s out. She’s out. She’s out for a good little while longer. I got a limp
I got quite the limp going on here. Oh, this is what needed the um- the crankshaft too
I don’t know what that’s for. I have no idea
But I know where the handle is at least, did she open this door? Did she actually open it?
Damn it. God, she didn’t, so I can’t rely on that but good progress so far, I guess. Now I know where that’s going
I suppose. Okay. Where you at Grandma? Oh, yeah, she’s up. Where’d you go lady?
Where did you go? Okay, so that’s the crankshaft
Winch handle. Probably for the gear mechanism bullshit
Okay loaded, locked and loaded. Ready,
to rock
*electricity sparks*
AH! What is that? “Special key.” Oh. Interesting. And there’s a piece of the painting
(whispering) I don’t want to do this. Uh, here we go. Okay. We’re good, we’re good.
One piece missing left. I’m gonna shoot her
I’ma shoot her
Where you at Grandma? *clunk*
Yeah. Where ya at, where ya at, come on c’mon. Come on, where ya at, come on. Where ya at Grandma?
Come on, come here-
BOOM baby! Woah ragdoll out of here. Okay. We gotta move, we gotta move, we gotta move fast
Okay, special key. This goes up in the attic- oh soh sowwy Grandma-
So we just got to go up in the attic
Then we’re gonna put the special key in and I don’t know what the special key does but-ugh
Does something
What’d that do?
Open this, go higher. I love it. I love getting high. High as I can baby. Okay, we got a plate. An empty plate- *hissing*
HUA AH AH! OH NO, NO, NO, NOOOO, NOOOOOOOOOO!
A SPIDER?!
A SPIDER? 🙁
You’re telling me you have a pet spider and you gotta feed it before you can get
The goddamn thing?! Are you kidding me?! Last day, last chance, last try
Here we go, baby. It’s on baby. It’s on baby. I’ve got this we’ve got this. I’ve got this
It’s got we got it
We’re glad-we got- No, she didn’t take the bait again. Grandma, come on
Come on Grandma
Grandma??
Grandma’s dead. I think grandma’s still dead. I think grandma is still actually dead. I think grandma’s still shot
Where’d you go? Grandma? I miss what we had.
Oh. I can just go.
I should have known that. First things first, I’m gonna get the gun. There’s the gun. I’ma reload the gun. Oh, yeah, she’s back
*shotgun clicks*
Okay, Grandma, where you be? I don’t know how to get past that spider. I’m assuming it requires some kind of food
And BOOM, baby, grandma’s down for the count! What is this? Oh, that’s nothing. What is this, I haven’t been here yet
There’s nothing here. I’m gonna load-I’m gonna load this, the grandma extinguisher.
Okay we got two more bullets left, one up here and one down there
But I’m gonna load that but I’m also gonna take this and I’m gonna go outside
And I’m gonna put this on the thing and then I’ll just need a gear I think for it
I think this is for that. I don’t know what this is for in the long run
There seems to be a lot of puzzles here and not a lot of answers
But for now, this is-this is what this is for, I’m pretty sure
Eugh. Yeah, okay, I don’t know why that’s there
Something’s missing here. Well, I’m pretty sure this is part of that. Wishing well, OOH wait
No, ah the well! I didn’t even see the well before but uh, that would make a lot more sense
Okay, so if there’s got to be something here, yes
Yes!
Yes! 😀
Yes, uh yes? Yes-what’re we-yes?
Take your time, please! no rush
What is it-it’s a gear. Oh, okay. Well, that’s easy. All right then, easy-peasy
No, no, don’t do that. I don’t know if grandma’s
sleeping yet
Okay, just need one more gear. I don’t know where that would be but, I just need one more
Oh, OH!
WHAT THE HELL?! Whoa, whoa, whoa there Grandma! That’s where you spawn?! ‘Cause that’s NO good! *gunshot*
NO good! That’s no good. What is that up there? There’s something up there. I don’t know how to get to it
How do I get to you? I don’t know how I get to you. There’s no jump. It’s not like I can- uh, maybe I throw something up at it?
Yeah, I don’t know how to get to that one
Okay, but. As far as everything else goes
I’m at a bit of a loss as to where I go
Cuz there’s no real food or anything that I can put on the-the-
Plate. Oh, gear. Never mind. All right. Good enough for me. Okay gear: pop.
Oh, master key. Sick! Sick, dude!
Sick!
Oh-hell, oh, it doesn’t work on that though. That’s-
Heh. It’s a master key, but it doesn’t work on everything. It’s only a master key. It’s whatever. You know, it’s whatever!
Why does grandma create traps like this, by the way? I just wanted to ask that
So no, is this gonna work on the car? Oh wait
What’s the point of having a master key, what’s the point. What’s even the point. How about here?
Need a padlock key. This doesn’t even fucking work on everything. It doesn’t! This is NOT a master key!
That’s not how master keys work. Stupid key, there’s no point to you!
You’re just a big lie. Oh, you’re just a lie.
Oh, wait a minute- last picture? I think last picture.
Oh please don’t spawn. Please don’t spawn right while I’m down here. Please don’t spawn right while I’m down here
“Grandma has awarded you with a bonus day in the house.” I don’t want a bonus day in the house!
I don’t want to be here a bonus day!
Meat! (gasps) Meat, meat, meat-meat-meat-meat. Meat! If I put this meat on the spider plate, then-
Also-this can move-there’s something in here. I don’t know what but I’m not going for it yet because I’ve got, meat
And if meat is what I think meat is and I can put this right here
Spider go get it. Oh, yes. Oh, yes, and then what’s in here?
Granny: Do you want to play hide and seeeeek?
Mark: Yeah, I do, you know I do baby, you know and this- *hissing*
UH, no no no no-
Padlock key. What’s in here? What is this? Where does this go?
*click*
*clank*
Oh shit
Shit!
Okay, I got the padlock key! Whatever good that does! And it’s not gonna do a lot of good, but I got it
So this can open that, but I don’t know how many other things are there possibly to open in this game
Let’s look in this place real-whoa more shotgun shells?
Just tons of shotgun shells. Alright, that’s good
It was the path here that I unlocked, but I don’t think there’s-I don’t have the screwdriver or anything like that
So I can’t exactly-
*clatter*
Whoa, oops. Uh oh, that’s not good. That’s not good. Okay
Okay, there’s grandma. I have an idea. Where’s the gun?
Where’s the gun? There’s the gun. Okay, there’s the gun. Well, let me use- *thunk x2* *clatter x2* shit. Let me use this on that
We’ll get the gun. Okay, get the gun
*bell tinkling*
Whatever Grandma. Hey Grandma. Hey, you stupid! You stupid lady!
She tries to put stuff back up
I’m ruining your house
Number one, I’m gonna shoot her, first and foremost, gonna sho- WAH! *gunshot*
Holy shit. Holy shit. Number two. This might be a waste of a bullet, but number two…
*gunshot*
Oh come on! Oh, come on. Aw, come on. Oh, come on
Oh, come on, you dick. You dick. Okay.
Oh -shit! Oh there it goes! There it goes. Okay, that’s good. Okay. Now this is loaded up and ready to go
So the screwdriver-I can use this on-
*BEAR TRAP BISH* HUARGHHHH!
On, uh, the-the screwdriver panel, the only thing that I saw that needed a screwdriver was in here
Why is this book something that I can use? I don’t know. It doesn’t matter. Okay, and then this can unlock
Nothing, uh, here? Where was it? Okay right here, right here
Boom boom, done. What is that? Safe key, (gasp) safe key!
Now I go get this SAFE for some reason and then something’s gonna be in the SAFE and then the SAFE will help me,
somehow,
probably, and then this has-
Wire clippers, I think?
Cutting pliers. All right, so my cousin cutting pliers here
I don’t know why I would-that’s not a wrench
I need a wrench! Maybe like for the front door? Or something like that?
Please don’t spawn. Don’t spawn. Don’t spawn. Don’t spawn. Okay, we’re fine. Cutting pliers here… Oh!
There we go
Need the master key. Oh, the master key is for that! Okay
That’s good. Where did I leave the master key. I don’t even remember where I left the master key. Shit! Dick! Shit! Cock!
Where’s the master key? That blue one’s the padlock key, the red one’s the master key. I must have left it up
Yeah, here it is
Okay, master key
Use this-oh
Okay, I’ll leave it right here. Can’t use it yet, but I got it!
Take this-anything in the tub? No
Anything under the tub? No-OH, OH FUCK! NNNO YOU DON’T! *gunshot* Good GOD, you sneaky lady! You sneaky lady
You think you can just sneak up on me like that? You are wrong. You’re wrong Grandma, you’re wrong!
Is that-there’s something that can be taken down with a hammer. I know that
I’m out of bullets up here, oh
Hammer! Okay, hammer! Whoa, what was it that could be taken down with a hammer. I think it was upstairs. Hammer for wood panels,
upstairs, right here
Okay
Easy as that
We’re in
I’m still suspecting something. Okay, baby thing. Very creepy. ‘Kay what is this for? Car key?
Okay
Great! I didn’t want the car key. I don’t even have anything for the car!
God-ooh fucking hell.
God, damn you. Okay is there-there’s no way to go over there?
“Maybe I can use one of the planks.” Ooh smart, smart, have to place. Is that all I needed? Okay. Good. Good. Good. Good. Great
Great, great. Great. What’s over here?
*echoing clatter* Grim-fuuuck.
God damn it. Oh god damn it. Oh
God damn it. Oh you piece of shit. Oh, you fucking-
I was on- AHFUAHFCKING
PIECE OF SHIT-GAHRFUCKING-
*rattling*
Oh
*clink* *rattling* *clink x2*
Well, that sure was easy, okay
Well, that’s not gonna help me if she’s gonna spawn in two seconds. I need cutting pliers and the hammer again. So the hammer-
I just left it here. She’s coming isn’t she. She’s probably coming.
Yeah, she’s definitely gonna be coming. Okay womp. Okay, I’m gonna assume that she’s on the way. I don’t like this. I hate this actually
*thump*
Just gonna,
duck in here
Hoo. Okay, so I need to bring the cutting pliers back up, get the wrench out of there, fix up the car, get the car key
downstairs, I need to get that other bullet, shoot that lady in the face!
(sigh) Frick.
She’s not here, is she oh shit. I don’t know where she is. I might go for it. I’ll drop off this
Where’s the cutting pliers they were right here!
I had the cutting pliers right here. Both keys are right, here cutting pliers. Perfect
*clatter, clack*
Okay, that was loud.
HUAH! No.
Awww shitty dicks. Okay. Shitty dicks alr-you’re gonna, you’re gonna play ring around the tosies with my wosies. It’s fine
This is easy. It’s Easy Street
Shit!
*creepy giggling*
Shit. Okay shit shit shit, it’s fine
She’s gonna lose interest real quick. She’s gonna lose interest watch this three, two, one interest gone. She’s gone. It’s all gone easy-peasy
Okay
Okay, so
I’m gonna drop that
No, I’m gonna drop that down. I’m gonna drop it DOWN
Grab the car key, drop it down
Fuck I didn’t drop either of them down
Oh god damn it-AHH!
OH COME ON! NOOO! GOD DAMN IT! DAMN IT! NOOOOOOO
Oh, I got a bonus day, oh I got a bonus day! Oh bonus day, that’s right. I got a bonus day, okay
All right bonus day. All right bonus day. That’s all good bonus day
‘Kay, where’s grandma? Not here. That’s wh- *CLATTER*
Okay, I think the key fell down. So I think we’re-*creepy giggling*-oh shit. She’s coming
She’s comin’. She’s comin’. That’s okay. That’s okay, that’s okay
Okay, I’m just gonna hide I’m gonna play it real safe. REAL safe.
I’ve got-there’s one more bullet in the basement for the gun. Oh, but I don’t have spark plugs for the car
I don’t know what else I would need for the boards
Maybe I need the hammer for the one last board on the door? Maybe I could get out!
Maybe I could get out, pretty soon. I may be able to get out pretty soon
Where is she?
There she is
(whispering) Okay.
Need a hammer. Okay hammer
Do that-okay, easy.
Wrench back up. Can I get out? Whoo shit. Can I get out? Can I just go? Oh NO! NO NO NO!
NOOO, NOOO! NOOOOOO! NOOOO! NOOO-OOO-OOH-OOO-OH NOOOOO-HOH-OH-HUH-HUH-HOH!
NO, NO, NOOO!
OH NO!!! :'(
NOOOO
God damn it, NOOO!
*guillotine slice* AAAAOHH!
I could’ve made it!
God DAMN it!
OHH-OO-WO-OH-HUH-HUH-HUH
HWUH-HWUH-HAAHHH [poor Mark]
I was so CLO-OO-OH-HO-HO-HOHSE!!!
God damn it. Okay. Fuck. Fuck FUCK! I was so close. I’m gonna go for it again
And I’m gonna gun it cuz I know where things are. I know what to do
I think I can get out
I mean things are gonna be different in different places, but I think I can make it
I know how to beat grandma, shoot her in the face. It’s gonna take a bit, but I’m just gonna gun through it
I think I can make this. I don’t want to leave this on a lose like that. I don’t wanna take that L
Oh, I know I can beat this. I know I can beat it guys. I know I can!
(whispering) You gotta believe me guys!
This is the first time I’ve seen a fruit
So, that’s good. I’ve got that going for me. Can I cut this with this? Yes, I can!
Shunk
Alright, what was this again? Padlock key? Okay, so I got the padlock key. That’s good. Alright, that’s good. I feel good about that.
Here’s the- oh shit. Oh shit. She’s coming. Oh shit. Oh shit jump in jump in
Don’t! Don’t! Don’t! Don’t!
Hoh-hoh-hua-huah! Huah-huah!
Eh-hwoh-hoh!
Hwoh-how-hwoh-HOW!
But now she’s unlocked that one, so I got a way back
BEHEH-HEH-HEH!
Gonna shoot you. Oh she did lock it didn’t she. Is that openable? Goddamnit of course you did.
Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-how did you get up here?
Whoa. Whoa. Whoa, I didn’t know you could get here. Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit.
Oh shit. Oh shit. Everything’s in a different place than it was which is cool cuz it’s all randomly generated
But it’s real dickish cuz I don’t know where I’m going. Let’s go ahead and get the padlock done done
Okay, easy peasy. I have an idea. I don’t know how good it is, but I have an idea
There’s a teddy bear in here and I haven’t seen many items that are completely useless in this game
So I’m gonna um, I have an idea – to um-
*loud and freaky pounding heart noise*
Okay, so I got an idea with this teddy bear
That’s mysteriously beating like a heart, like he’s got a heartbeat, to put it in the guillotine?
Which probably now that it’s got a heartbeat? Probably not the best idea I’ve ever had.
*click*
*clatter*
Oh, oh oh shit, oh fuck oh sh-f-(lawnmower noise)
Okay, so I’m gonna wait till she goes away and I think
Grab it again, and then go. Can I gun it?
Oh shit. There she is. Oh shit. She doesn’t like this. She doesn’t like this
She don’t like-her eyes are red! Oh her eyes are RED. Oh her eyes are RED! Oh her eyes are RED!!!
I’m gonna drop it out there. I’m gonna drop it out there for later. For later! For later!
She does NOT like you touching that teddy bear
(chuckling) She does not like that at all.
She is not about you touching that teddy bear
I’m thinking that if I could get a-if I can get a shot at cutting that teddy bear’s head off
then I am gonna be either in big trouble or
It’s gonna be alright
*CLATTER CLUNK*
Shit. Ohh shit. Oh shit
HWAH!
Fucking oh my god. Oh my god
Why was she right there? Why was she right there? That, that’s not fair. Why was she there? That was too close.
That was too close. That was too close
That was too close
Weapon key? I’ve never seen the weapon key before but uh, it’s the – oh fuck, every time, every time! Every time!
Okay
So that’s now open but I have to go get the meat, let me go see what kind of weapon the weapon key unleashes.
Cuz the locker’s right here. What do we got baby? Oh.
O-oh!
Tranquilizer darts? Hey Grandma! (laughter)
Grandma… Hey, granny.
Oh, doink! *thwap*
Ooh.. Uh- Oh
“Granny’s now gone for two minutes.” She is
GONE. Oh, you can reload ’em! Oh, that’s handy. Oh, that’s handy dandy. Let me try to-FUCK-let me try to shoot this thing with this.
Hey! There we go. Got the screwdriver, which is good. Okay, good. This is all good, all going real good.
Let me drop this here. Grab the meat, go upstairs real quick. Take care of the spider. Whatever is in the spider area
That’s what I’m gonna go get. (nervous whispering) Alright and three two one, spider?
Eugh, hate you
Okay, gas? Awwohh
This is what I came down here to get? This is dar-not even worth it. Not even worth the trouble.
Wonder if I can cut the head off of the thing while, uh, while granny is incapacitated
Okay, I got the fruit that was in here. So that’s good. I’m just gonna drop this by the uh, drop this by that
Grab this I’m gonna go take care of the screwdriver thing
What’s that…? A car key. God everything for the car. I don’t need the car key. I don’t care about the car
The car doesn’t do me any good
Does it? Maybe it does maybe it does do me some good? Maybe it does. I don’t know. Oh shit. She’s back
Oh fuck. Holy shit. She’s back. Okay, she’s back with a vengeance
Granny: Do you want to play hide and seek?
Mark: No, where’d I put the
This padlock key I don’t need that
Where’d I put the-ooh! Ooh, oohh.
Okay. Granny. Okay. Where did I put the uh, I put it by the meat that’s right. It’s by the meat
Okay, so I just got to go get
Tranquilizer? Okay. Is there-is it empty or something? It’s empty, isn’t it? Okay, it’s empty. That’s okay
I’m gonna pick it right up and I’ma shoot granny
Where you at? There you are. *whizz, thwap*
Oh… Oh no..
Eugh
That’s so nice that it’s reloadable, this is like the greatest thing. This is the greatest thing I’ve ever seen. Okay. Um, OW
Fucking every time. What do I have and what do I need? Okay, there’s a
Car Battery.
It really seems to be emphasizing the car stuff, but I’m not worried about the car stuff right now
Whoa, what is that?
*rumbling noise*
Whoa, whooooa
whoa, ooh weird, oh weird, weird, weird….
Put something here. There’s like a book. I got a book
Maybe we could put a book there for all that-looks like something that you could put a book on
It’s the only other thing that I know that is kind of like that
It’s a book. No, the book’s not here. That was last time goddamn. Ooh, what is that?
Safe key. All right. I’ll take the safe key
Engine part. God it’s everything for the stupid car. Maybe the car is the way that I gotta get out this time. I don’t know. Oh
Oh hey the bear’s back. Hehehe
That’s funny. Okay. Let me look closely in here again. Master key’s right there. That’s right. There’s the book. Okay. There’s the book
Let me try that. Let me see what the book will do. Okay, come here. Come here. Come here. Come here. Grandma *whizz* Boink.
Oh, oh
My stars. Ooh, okay, grandma’s gone for two minutes. So says you. But if I grab this book, uh,
I hate that it’s not near the uh
Tranquilizer. Can we reload… Grandma? Where’d you put it? Where’d you put it Grandma? Where’d you put it Grandma? There it is
Okay, so imma drop this here
Put it up here. Okay, so if I put this
Over here. Oh yeah, maybe this goes here?
*deep thrumming sound*
Holy shit. Oh
My god, what the fuck is that?
What the fuck..?
What the fuck is that?
What is that..?
Ughh!
Ow! God damn it, what is that? I have no idea what that is
I mean, it seems like that might be granny’s quote-unquote corpse like uh,
Maybe her real body. Maybe if I kill that, end it for good? Maybe? Let me try shooting somethin at it
Maybe that’ll do somethin. Eh it’ll probably do somethin, right? God damn it
Nope, boink. Nope, okay, this-nope boink
Okay, good thing that says unlimited tranquilizer in it. There’s something, a piano,
Underground, a cage, and a spider. I don’t know. This is weird, whatever it is
Whoa, whoa. Whoa, what the fuck?
Whoa. Whoa, I didn’t know that was a thing. Whoa, whoa, whoa
Interesting
Oh shit
Interesting. I didn’t know that was a thing
Oo!
Ooh..
Okay, there was something in tho-there was something in here, but the winch, okay
I can use this for getting the thing out of the thing and apparently there’s a faster way now
As opposed to going down here.
Aaah…
Okay, then She should be gone long enough to do this just fine
Well do the hammer. Okay, the hammer cool, that’s good. That’s useful hammer. All right, let’s do the hammer stuff
Wonder what the hammer’s gonna get me. I like hammer, hammer is real cool
Now the question is do I have to fall?
No, I don’t – good. Good. I was hoping not. Okay. What do we get in here?
Cutters! That’s perfect. We need the cutters
*CRACK* Yay *electronic sizzle*
Okay, and that’s the last of the hammer I think
And the cutters
Uh-oh
Oh! No, you didn’t see nothing, okay Grandma that’s right. That’s right. You never see nothing cuz you’re BLIND AS A BAT
Easy. Grab this and go
Sparkplugs? I guess it is a car escape for me, huh?
Alright, then. Well now I got to go get the battery and put that down there and then they get the gas and shit
But then the wrench is easy cuz it’s in the main area. Maybe this is the way it wants me to go
Maybe this is the way I’m gonna go maybe the car is it. Alright car escape it is
Spark plugs need a wrench. Okay. Oh, yeah, where’s the where’s the uh, where’s the gun? Grab that.
You heard that huh? Funny, huh? We’ll see what’s funny. Who’s laughing now lady?!
It’s NOT ME. *whizz, thwap* Oh, right in the vag
Oh, sorry
Excuse me Grandma. Oh, come on…
Oh, gRanDMA!
Grandma, thank you. Okay, drop this here,
Take this, uh…
Guess I’ll drop it down there. Whatever toss granny’s corpse down there, too
I’m gonna take this wrench and then I’m gonna get the master key as well
I’m gonna drop it all down this way down there go get the master key, which is in the microwave of all places
No, did I need the padlock key? I’m gonna need of the padlock key. I can’t remember which one it was
Might have been the padlock key either way
I’m gonna grab all of them. Just in case. And then the car battery is in the back area
Somewhere. So is it the master key? Yes no, maybe so-it is the padlock key. Of course it is. Alright, gas
Dunk it in the gas tank. Easy peasy. Grab the wrench
Easelzul pazizu…
Da da and then the battery and then this is good to go
You should be just in time to tranq Grandma. Grandma! You need your medicine!
Grandma!
Now, come on Grandma. Don’t skip your dose. You know you need your dosage. Come on. You need your sleepy time medicine!
Oh ooh shit shit. I… *whizz, thwap* no! Oh, I’m sorry Gram. Can I have that back? Thanks Grandma. All right. Good bye!
Got that, take the car battery
And then I think we outy I think we- I think we outy we might be outy
We… We might actually be outy.. I-I don’t know for sure, but we might be outy
Or whatever car brand this car is
(Mark laughs at his bad Audi pun)
Anyway, let’s get out of here. Yeah, maybe so? Open her up. All right
Oh…
God…
No…
Noo…
*car revs*
*smash*
Hahaha…
Hahahaha
*car revs*
*smash*
Hahahahaha!
Ah, haha!
*car revs*
*action music plays*
Oh baby! Whoa-hah-ho! Oh shit!
I’m outta here!
AHHHHH… HAHAHAHA! Hahaha..
I think it must be like that. It must be like one if I could have gotten out the front door
I guess I had all the tools necessary but the CAR-that’s more stylish baby, that’s more stylish. So that was “Granny.”
That was great. I loved that.
It looked very simplistic,
but it had good
mechanics in there are kind of like two ways going out there, and you have to go through the whole house and you got to find
do all these puzzles. It was very much like escape room-style games but in a 3D sense and it had a very good
execution of it. Granny was scary. The whole way through granny was scary. Granny was always a threat, so that made it really cool.
I learned, but it was fun. And I only beat it on easy, but it was still fun
So thank you everybody so much for watching
You can find this game through the link in the description below, check out the other scary games that I’ve done!
I’ve done hundreds of them! There’s a whole playlist of them.
Check them all out, scary games as far as the eye can see. So thank you everybody so much for watching
And as always, I will see YOU in the next video.
Buh-Bye!

100 thoughts on “SCARIEST GRANDMA EVER | Granny – FULL GAME

  1. The way that he laughs on 43:14 is so fucking hilarious. I cropped the audio and made it a text tone. LOL. ❤️ U, MARK!

  2. “ you so stupid “😂 don’t forget every grandma in the world has great hearing when it comes to us back talking or cursing 🤬

  3. Markiplier there is granny part 2 u can try it on mobile and record a video or just wait till PC version i wish it comes out on ps4 and Xbox

  4. 13:49

    Markiplier: Oh good more basement, Great more basement, what kind of slub- sublevel bullsh*t is- (loud scrape)
    I didn't do that.

    Me: (dies of laughter)

  5. Mark! The corpse you uncovered? Cut the head off the teddy, and some kind of life source should drop out of it. Use the life source or whatever on the corpse!

  6. This is why you eat the sticks your grandma beats you with, because then she'll stop beating you with em, she'll just serve you stick soup

  7. Mark:* waiting in the box for like 2 minutes just sitting there while the door was open and she was dead*
    Mark:*oh the door was open*
    Me: facepalms

  8. I want to see an animation where the player gets revenge on granny. Something like they come back with their squad, and bring gasoline, matches, and guns (for extra caution) Then they dump gasoline all around the base of granny's house, and rejoice as it burns to the ground.

  9. Nobody:
    Freinds:
    Mark:- relizez two beartraps are on the floor-
    Granny: OwO A PERSON STANDING THERE
    Mark:oh the traps gone, thank you granny!
    Granny: your welcome :3
    Mark:! OOPS!!

  10. Markpiller u should play this. Game in practice mode in practice mode granny isn't home and u can explore the house granny only comes back when you escape from the house and she doesn't hit you with her baseball bat! When u escape

  11. Mark: cuts watermellon in half and gets padlock key
    Granny's noises
    Mark: "Oh shit she's comin- ohshitohshit jump IN- dON'T DON'T DON'T"

    My mind: "DON'T take another step in my direction, I can't be trusted around you~"

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