The Theft Protection

Myths and Facts About Identity Theft


You remember in the 60’s When I invented the mash. Well now the time has come For me to update that smash. Since I’ve been out of the fright game For 52 odd years, I invited a new crew to spread spooky cheer. The first to arrive was Doctor Hannibal Lecter, He brought his own date and he seemed to respect her. They hit the dance floor with a jive and a jitter. Then he, he ripped off her face. He’s pulling out her liver! (That’s really gross) Oh my God! What just happened? (He ate her face) Yes I know, I saw! (Speaking of Saw) *Jigsaw* “I like to play disgusting games” (He broke his jaw) That is way too graphic, I’m going to faint. (Waaahooo) Surely all the other guests won’t be this rude. Like this classic monster, a scary, hip dude. He’s got a kooky style and a spooktastic look Oh my God! He just hung the waiter on a meat hook Why? (He’s Leatherface) He’s cutting him up with a chainsaw (It’s what he does) Who is Freddy Krueger? (He haunts your dreams) Ooo he sounds like a real spooker *Freddy Krueger* ‘I murder teens! You can’t escape me bitch” Language! In my day the monsters would just give you a spook Nowadays it seems they all just want to make you puke Ahh! The Human Centipede that sounds like a hit Wait, the ones in back have to eat the front one’s shit Enough! The party’s over, everybody out You all have no idea what Spooktober is about Here comes the Wolfman, He’ll show you how it’s done He knows how to be creepy, but he always keeps it fun Noooooo, that was my friend. Why did he meet such a horrifying end? Is it too much to ask, to have some monsters dance? It’s really quite a hoot if you give it half a chance *Jigsaw* “This guy won’t let it go, I think it’s rather sad” *Freddy Krueger* “Guys, I feel guilty.” *Hannibal Lecter* “And I also feel bad” *Leatherface* “Let’s give him a couple moves, it’s the least we can do” *Jigsaw* “Okay places everybody. And a one, and a two *All Monsters* “Look at us dance” You did the monster dance? *Leatherface* “Hey look, Jazz hands” Don’t twist too fast! *Dead Guys* “Our skulls are smashed” *Leatherface* “Ah great, it’s the girl from the ring” (Her heart is black) Ooo she really knows how to swing *Freddy Krueger* “I wouldn’t look directly at her face if I were you” *Leatherface* “Oh well we tried” *Freddy Krueger* “He died doing what he loved” *Jigsaw* “Monster Choreography” *Jigsaw* “Hey guys I know a game we can play. Guys, anyone? No?”

100 thoughts on “Modern Monster Mash – Key of Awesome #91

  1. Sadly, Pinhead didn't get invited to the party and is nowhere to be seen. He probably regretted not getting invited to this party.

  2. That was pure genius! A fantastic and modern update to a 60's classic. I love the original and this one is just great. My thanks.

  3. My opinions pretty unpopular and people are going to strongly disagree with me, but I think modern monsters and past monsters are great, along as they give a scare, I'm in.

  4. Great!Great!Great!…Nicely done! Happy Halloween 🎃👻☠💀👺👹👾🕷🦇🤢😈👿🤡😱🤖October 2019

  5. Can you please please please make a clean beeped out version of this so I can play it for my high school kids on our Halloween playlist?

  6. Frankinstine: who is freddy krueger
    girls: he haunts your dreams
    frankinstine: Ooo he sounds like a real spooker
    freddy krueger: i murder teens you cant escape me B####
    frankinstine: LANGUAGE
    me: oof

  7. Harold the mummy from Under Wraps (1997): ugh un huh na (translation): Where was my invitation? Also where is the restroom, a guy has to go after being dead for so long.

  8. Leather face 😂😂😂 Freddy Kruger,Michael Myers,Jason Voorhess,ghost face not on it but still funny jig saw and Frankenstein also the lady I don’t know 😂

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