The Theft Protection

Myths and Facts About Identity Theft


[typing]
After years of waiting,
Skyrim, the fifth game in the Elder Scrolls
series of FPS RPGs is here in all its nerdy glory.
But you can go to a hundred other
people if you want a review of Skyrim.
So, here on Lazy Game Reviews we’re taking
a look at the very first Elder Scrolls game, Arena.
Released in 1994 by Bethesda Softworks,
Arena was a bit of a shaky start for
the now-revered Elder Scrolls series.
Just looking at the box art
and even the name of the game,
you might be inclined to think that
you’re in for some good old melee combat
in an arena of some kind.
With sexy high-fantasy chicks and
bloodthirsty crowds watching from the stands.
But then you flip it around
and read the back of the box
and you see magical monster slaying,
character creation with lots of stats
and repeated mention of the term CRPG.
Yes, this is purely a computer role-playing
game
so you’re better off just forgetting the
“Arena” name because it’s just deceiving.
But why the odd name for a pretty
traditional CRPG experience?
Well, there’s a good reason for this
and it starts back in 1992…
Bethesda Softworks was a small company
mostly making sports and movie-licensed games,
like Wayne Gretzky Hockey
and The Terminator.
But in 1992, Origin Systems
released Ultima Underworld,
a 3D first-person role-playing game that
was a huge technological leap from
older CRPGs like Dungeon Master and Wizardry.
The guys at Bethesda were already fans
of Dungeons & Dragons and the Ultima series,
and then came along Legends of Valor,
which further inspired them to develop
their own fantasy action game.
They had the idea for a first-person
action game where the player and a
team of fighters would travel a fantasy world
competing in arena battles and
gaining new skills along the way,
eventually being proclaimed the ultimate
victor in the Imperial City.
Eventually, they decided to add side
quests to vary the gameplay a bit
and it wasn’t long before they realized
that the side quests were more fun than
gladiatorial combat.
More stats were added, more fantasy
elements were added
and pretty soon the arenas were
replaced with the large open world for a
player to explore
instead of just hopping from battle to battle.
Eventually, they just said,
“Screw it, we’re nerds.”
“Let’s make a full-blown RPG
with awesome, nerdy RPG stuff!”
But there was a problem:
the marketing material and artwork for the
arena combat ideas were already being
printed up and they were rushing to make
a Christmas 1993 release.
So, some weird backstory was quickly
created that explained that this world
called Tamriel was such a ruthless place
that its citizens often
referred to it as “the Arena”
and sur-title “The Elder Scrolls” was added
to make it sound more like a role-playing
game,
and to provide further fantasy plot devices.
However, they still missed the Christmas release
and didn’t get the game
out until March of 1994
when nobody cared
and those that might have cared
were thrown off by the “Arena” name.
It only sold about 3,000 copies.
But as time went on,
more copies kept selling,
and due to word-of-mouth
the game became a cult classic,
eventually leading Bethesda to come
out with even more Elder Scrolls games.
The first was an enhanced version
of Arena, the CD-ROM rerelease,
which added some speech and
computer-animated video sequences.
Then came the Deluxe version of Arena,
containing the latest CD-ROM version,
a mouse pad with a map of Tamriel on it
and the Codex Scientia hintbook.
I have here the original
floppy disk release from 1994
which is actually dated 1993 all over the
place.
Take off the sleeve and you have a nice box
with entirely too many Bethesda
Softworks logos printed on it.
And inside of this, you have the guts.
The guts include the game,
which comes on eight high-
density 3.5-inch floppy disks,
an installation guide,
an ad for the Codex Scientia hintbook,
and the manual itself.
The manual has a nice RPG texture to it,
and if you’ve had many RPGs, then you
know exactly what I’m talking about.
It feels good.
Sadly, the quality inside is kind of bland
with only sepia-toned
images instead of full-color.
But that’s just nitpicking.
The information within is solid
and it is absolutely required to play
the game for more reasons than one.
Once you start the game up, you’ll be
greeted with some percussive music
and pixels.
On the floppy version, the game pretty
much just starts up without any fanfare,
but the CD-ROM version also gives you
a short and somewhat needless intro.
In both versions, a scroll will unravel before
you
and you’re given some vague details
about something fantastical or something.
Next, the menu pops up
and it’s incredibly basic
with no options to speak of,
only the choice of starting a
new game or loading a saved one.
Starting a new game will provide you
with yet another bit of backstory,
this time detailing the main plot.
Emperor Urethra Septum IV is
just chillin’ and is summoned
by Imperial Battlemage Jägermeister Tharn,
sporting his best Nazgûl attire
But holy balls, Jägermeister is actually
a
douchebag and crap happens.
Emperor Uterus Rectum is
sent off to a galaxy far, far away
and Ringwraith Mick Jagger
himself takes the throne.
Then some chick with lovely assets
is zapped by Darth Sidious
and hair metal makes a
comeback in the land of Tamriel,
complete with horny demons
and skinny naked dudes surrounded in fog.
You’re then told to select your class,
which is accomplished
by either generating one
or taking a Myers-Briggs
personality test for role-playing nerds.
Or by selecting one outright without
knowing anything about it at all.
You’ll probably want to read
the manual if you want to be
anything other than completely surprised
at what you pick and thankfully it’s
sorta kinda explains what you need to know.
But you’re just going to have to play
the game first to know what you want,
what you really, really want,
so just pick something
and see how fast you die.
You can also pick your
name, and anything goes,
so be sure to make it count!
Next, choose your reproductive
organs and then choose
the province your character will call home.
This will determine where you
start the game and your race,
so choose randomly
because you really don’t know what you’re
doing.
Or just check the manual once again
like the little RPG slave you are.
You can then choose to place
some stat points anywhere you like.
This will affect how much you
suck in the beginning of the game,
so allotting the proper stats
is key to your survival.
In other words, you’re screwed.
Finally, you get to customize your character’s
look,
and by “customize” I mean choose from a
small handful of predetermined head sprites.
Next thing you know, you’re being looked
down on by some translucent female in the sky
who is basically telling you that you’re
important and the fate of the world
and yeah, don’t die and stuff.
She just spews text at you in the floppy version,
but the CD-ROM actually has her speaking
in all of her cheap cloud lady majesty.
LADY: In that act of arrogance,
he has made his first mistake.
LGR: The gist of it is that it’s up to you
to
find the eight remnants of the Staff of Chaos,
Lord Voldemort’s seven Horcruxes,
the Nine Pirate Lords’ Pieces of Eight
and the one ring to rule them all.
It’s a very ambitious game.
Freaking finally, you’re into the gameplay
itself
and like any good role playing game,
you start off in some dank dungeon
with freaking nothing,
being hunted by rats and
goblins and looking for a way out.
The game controls with the keyboard, mostly,
with your typical CRPG set of controls
that end up looking more like a flight
simulator setup than anything else.
But a lot of the work is going to be done
using the mouse, including picking up items
like this Golden Key
and opening doors like this door-y door.
It also serves as your method of combat,
where you’ll have to face your enemies,
hold down the right mouse button
and swing in different directions
in order to do damage.
This is just awful.
What makes this more annoying
is the fact that it sucks.
And what makes it even more annoying
is the fact that not only do you use the
mouse to attack, you also
can use it to move around.
If your cursor gets anywhere near the
edge of the screen, an arrow will appear
showing which direction it will move you.
I guess this was to appeal to the old CRPG
play style of games like Dungeon Master,
but in Arena it makes no sense.
It’s incredibly clunky to move like this
and instead it only gets in the way any time
you try to click on something on-screen.
Since you can’t turn this off, you’ll be
getting aggravated at this constantly
and it’s just dumb.
Another thing that provides an unfortunate
amount of stupid is the user interface.
Yeah, the entire thing!
Now, I know this was a first
effort on Bethesda’s part,
and it was basically a converted
gladiator game, but still.
You have these little buttons along the
bottom of the screen that allow you to
access to most of the features of the game.
Stuff like your status, magic, spells, map,
combat and pickpocket modes, resting, etc.
But what you’re not told is what any of these
are.
Since they’re just icons, you have to
figure out through trial and error
or read the crap out of the manual.
Some people will be just fine with this.
*I* find it needlessly annoying.
Another thing that’s not so obvious is
that some of these have alternate modes.
For example, just clicking on the map
will bring up a map,
but if you right-click on the map,
it’ll bring up an even larger map.
Okay, why not just have this larger map
available from the regular map screen?
One other complaint is jumping.
You press J to jump, but that’s useless.
You only hop about a quarter of an inch straight up.
You have to press Shift+J to jump forward,
which is used not only for jumping chasms,
but hopping directly on top of short walls.
The sound effects don’t help either.
They’re extremely simple.
You don’t always know what is
making the sound or where it is.
Not only that but only one sound plays at
once.
So if you happen to be doing
something that’s making another sound,
it will cover up the sound of an enemy nearby,
so often you’ll just be attacked in silence.
But really, once you look past all that,
the game is incredibly frustrating.
For one thing, these dungeons are the
textbook definition of complex.
What moron Tamriel architect
designed these things?
The layout makes no sense half the time.
Almost all the walls look the same,
so you get turned around super easily.
And then there’s these waterways
underneath floating walls
all over the place,
which function only to get you killed
by enemies standing above you.
So you’re going to have to be
using your compass and map
all the time to try to navigate,
which I would have less of a
problem with if it weren’t so clunky.
For one thing, these transitions
bother the nuts off me.
Every little thing fades in and out and in
and out,
with some kind of delayed effect,
and after the billionth time you see this,
you just feel like the game is trolling you.
You’re gonna have to physically walk to
an area if you want to see it again.
Sure, you can use it to take notes
and stuff but that’s only useful
if your notes aren’t on the
part of the map you can’t see!
Once you’ve stumbled around
this stuff, you’ll eventually level up,
and you’ll be able to apply the
points you’ve earned to new stats.
This is the entire appeal of the game, really.
To do stuff until something happens.
So you get more points to do more stuff.
Also, the loot.
The loot in the game is mostly random,
so every time you enter a dungeon
or even reload a game,
the loot will be different
than the last time you played.
So there’s always a chance you’ll end up with
some
awesome katana or war hammer,
but chances are you’ll have about 14,000 weak
daggers and bucklers instead.
Once you finally freaking holy crap
what the balls exit the first dungeon,
you’ll be greeted with the copy protection.
Yeah, just now do you get the copy protection.
It involves looking up some crap in the manual
so if you don’t have the manual… [chuckles]
Oh, man, that sucks.
Once you put in the right stuff,
you can continue onward to
whatever city you ended up in
and start exploring the game at your leisure.
At first, it’s pretty fun
exploring these towns
since there are a ton of people that bother
you,
a ton of shops to buy and sell your loot,
and a ton of places to get drunk.
But you’ll soon realize you
have no clue what to do next.
Like most RPGs, the gameplay consists of
the main quest and side quests,
and how you find these is kinda vague.
Side quests are usually found
by talking to random townsfolk
and asking if there’s any work around.
You’ll go somewhere, like a bar,
and a text box will ask you to do something
like deliver a piece of paper to a
text box on the other side of town.
Do this and you’ll have wasted your time
for what is often a paltry amount of gold.
Hooray.
And then you have the main quest,
which is progressed by doing
something.
Yeah, I–I don’t know.
The first
time around you just have to kind of
figure crap out yourself.
You’re told to find some dubious place
but not where to look or
even how to go about looking,
so I had to consult a wiki to
figure out I needed to talk to a
million random NPCs
before one of them randomly told
me I was in the wrong province.
How helpful.
Eventually, you’ll find a place,
which eventually leads to a person,
which eventually leads to another place,
which eventually leads to you wanting to
pull your hair out with a ball of
barbed wire because you forgot to save
the game any crashes to DOS.
Right, so here’s the thing:
when Arena works, it can be fun,
once you get used to the clunky UI
and the overpowering African
swallow-speed enemies.
But then the game either locks up or crashes,
sometimes taking your
save game along with it,
and it’s just one more
crappy thing to deal with.
It really sucks because this
game has so much potential.
There’s so much to see and experience here.
It’s unreal for a game of this age.
You have the entire continent of Tamriel to
explore
and each city and main dungeon
is handcrafted to be awesome.
And outside of that is an endless
procedurally-generated world to explore,
filled with tons of convoluted dungeons
and annoying enemies trying to kill you.
And holy crap, I haven’t even talked
about the spell making.
The possibility for custom magic
items in this game is insane!
With something like 2,500 unique
magical items which can all be
combined into custom magic items and spells.
And yes, you can name these anything you want,
like my Fart of Fury here.
If you understand this reference to a
classic arcade fighting game,
then congratulations, you win +5 Internets!
So the point I want to end on is that
The Elder Scrolls Arena is really impressive.
But it’s just too darned big and too darned
clunky and unfriendly for me to enjoy it.
I played almost six hours and finally
got my first friggin’ piece of the Staff of
Chaos.
But then the game crashed
for the nine quadrillionth time
and I decided I was done.
Seriously, done.
I don’t think I’ll ever play this game
again and the reason is
that if I want to play a DOS Elder Scrolls
game,
I’m going to play its sequel, Daggerfall.
And that one has its flaws too,
but it’s a far cry better
than Arena’s convoluted mess.
And that pains me somewhat to say that
because I really do like the ideas
and world in Arena.
It’s still the Elder Scrolls.
It’s got an incredible amount of gameplay
and
an addicting way of advancing you through
the story,
tossing lots of loot and experience points
your way.
It’s a respectable first effort,
but it’s a game that never saw its
true potential lived out
due to the overall scattered
quality and ill-advised
implementations of gameplay elements.
In my opinion, Arena should only be viewed
as a curiosity for those interested in
the beginnings of the Elder Scrolls saga.
And it’s gonna cost you if you
want the boxed game too,
since it’s highly valued by collectors and
its lowish production numbers resulted
in it selling for about $70 to $100 currently.
However, Bethesda has released the
floppy version of the game as freeware,
so you can at least try a
digital version of the game for free.
But seriously though, make sure
you go into it expecting great ideas
but less-than-great implementation.

100 thoughts on “LGR – The Elder Scrolls Arena – DOS PC Game Review

  1. This video has aged… quite poorly. Yeesh.
    Might just have to revisit Arena in the future to give it some fresh coverage more fitting to my current standards. Stay tuned on that.

  2. I’m sort of stuck at the first dungeon in hammerfell. Damn spiders.

    The game is free. I recommend downloading it from the wiki tho, as well as daggerfall

  3. I had an original floppy release of this game when i was a kid, i could never follow the plot but i loved the game because every time i played it felt like i discovered something new. Without internet reviews dos gaming was such a crap shoot and this game was a gem.

  4. Kinda sad Bethesda games from back in the day had mountains of more content compared to their new games. Cough* cough* looking at you fallout 76. I wish the studio had the same drive and desire to push the limits that they use to have😞. Now Todd is only worried about profit, you break my heart Bethesda. Oblivion was the 1st time I really got immersed in a RPG and I loved every second. Sorry rant over

  5. Personally, I enjoy the game mechanics of "TES: Arena" for its RPG elements, random encounters and spell crafting, than the later editions. I also enjoyed when a player does not have a key for a door or treasure chest, they can smash it open with a weapon instead.

  6. 3:00 Even in the beginning, with different developers, Bethesda still re-released the same game several times.

  7. When this video came out, Oblivion was as old as Skyrim is to us now, infact Skyrim is older, does that mean we can get an LGR Skyrim review to finally complete the elder scrolls saga of videos?

  8. Like you said I hope you do an update. Even though I have been watching you since then it's crazy how you talk about the ES lore unless you got into it at a later date.

  9. 2:04 – see? Even in the beginning Bethesda was better at making SIDE QUESTS than the actual main quest…

  10. I wonder if anyone has made a mod fixing all the bugs. If so then someone needs to give them a million dollars. Also sounds like a good thing that you get this free for buying any of the other elder scrolls games on GoG

  11. I am playing this through for the first time on dosbox. I’ve upped the cycles to 12,000 as I’ve read online. But my game runs NOTHING compared to yours in the video. How did you get it to run so smooth? Original Hardware? DOS magic? Help!

  12. The atmosphere of this game is unmatched (the same with Thief games). When you're in the dungeons, it becomes tense 100%. You never know where the enemy will pop out of thin air, you never hear it, probably he's right behind you… Damn those paranoid moments 😀

  13. The one thing that really annoys me in this game is the rest function. I’m probably doing it wrong but I can never heal early game, so I pretty much die 100% of the time.

  14. You forgot to mention the chance of exiting the starter dungeon at night, and getting destroyed by overpowered enemies that roam every city at night

  15. What happened to this video? There are several spots that are cut, I see weird cuts at 8:00, 9:45 and 10:52, it wasn't like this before.

  16. Holy scrolls !!! I did not know that i can jump in the "Arena" ! That's what it means when you have a physical copy of a game with a manual =D

    Thanks and greetings from 2019 !!!

  17. These are easily my favorite elder scrolls reviews. I've rewatched them a couple times already. I wish they were more in depth and longer but I understand they probably take a while to make.

    Also I would love to hear your thoughts on skyrim.

  18. I got this game in the Elder Scrolls box containing all the games from Arena through Skyrim. I hadn't heard of Arena until getting that box set. This review is spot on. Arena is nearly impossible from the outset and I've been a hard core RPG gamer since the original NES releases of Dragon Warrior and Final Fantasy.

  19. For what it's worth, if you download the game from the unofficial Elder Scrolls wiki, it comes with patches to presumably fix the technical issues you mentioned. So there's that, at least.

  20. I remember using multiple floppy disks to install a game. Crazy. I was thinking about replaying Elder Scrolls Arena. Thank you for making this video!

  21. Except for the "figure it out yourself" bit, the description of the first Elder Scrolls is remarkably fitting for every Bethesda game since then. It's a broken mess, with a terrible UI, terrible combat, bland, pointless sidequests and a main quest noone really gives a damn about.

    As a side-note: Noone I know played Dungeon Master without using the keyboard to walk around. Walking around using the icons seems ridiculously tedious.

  22. Cannot remember when original purchased, but I have the Deluxe copy with the mouse pad, and hint book; however, it came on Disks and not a CD-ROM. Unfortunately a few of the disk became corrupted a few years back. I wonder if they had multiple Deluxe copies at different times? If I remember correctly playing the Thief Rogue class was crazy easy at one point in the game, since you could just steal magic items you wanted and/or hold up in a house and recycle floor due to a memory bug… Oh… those were the good old days of gaming.

  23. Wow, I had just gotten my first PC when this came out in 1994 and I just snagged it… Can't believe I was one of the few who bought it.. I didn't play it immediately since I had bought dozens of games with the computer, but when I finally did, I remember playing for a few days at a time without sleeping, then sleeping 16 hours, waking up, playing for a few more days. LOL. I was hooked. I bought Daggerfall when I saw that on the shelf and did the same thing.

  24. Arena was just the studio pandering to casuals. REAL Bethesda fans play a crude RP version of tic tac toe Todd Howard made on data cassette in 1989.

  25. You gotta make a skyrim video! you've gone through all the elder scrolls games and Redfall is on it's way, it's prime time!

  26. Essentials for playing Arena:
    F4 – toggles pixellation. Meaning, you'll get those info boxes instantly instead of having them fading in and out.
    Notes on map: useful for reminding yourself where those shops are that have the best gear (which is not random but fixed for all eternity and is the same in all games)
    Right-click on the doors of shops/mages guilds/temples/inns: auto-inscribes the names of those places on the map. Useful for those gofer-missions.

    Also, I always used the arrow keys to move. Found that much easier than mousing all over the place. I also never had the game crash on me for any reason. One of the most stable games I've ever played, both on my 486 back in the day as well as modern rigs (with Dosbox). This is also the only Elder Scrolls game I have actually finished.

    AND – and this is important to me personally – this is the only game in the Elder Scroll series which has changing seasons. Well, maybe Daggerfall did, too, I don't know. But Arena also let you explore all of tamriel, and different regions have different climates. Entirely cosmetic, of course, but it adds to the atmosphere to see the effect of the calendar year – and to see people dressing appropriately for the season.

  27. I know this is an old review, but I finished arena and had a different experience. Yes I hated it at first and quit after the first dungeon, but I picked it back up months later and played through the rest of it. It is a bit repetitve, simple, and the main quest is pretty linear, but it is indeed fun overall. My first main gripe was the controls, which can easily be fixed with a control patch off the nexus. The other issue is how wraiths and such can just quickly shoot 2-3 fireballs at once and kill you instantly. Prepare to have a lot of BS deaths, so save a lot and look past it and you'll have a good time.

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