The Theft Protection

Myths and Facts About Identity Theft


DUNKEY: Anybody got a mic?
KID: I do.
DUNKEY: Shut up, dum dum!
KID: No, you faggot.
DUNKEY: Hey! Watch that mouth!
KID: No!
DUNKEY: Do you even know who I am, kid?!
KID: No your name is R–
Your picture is R2-D2–
DUNKEY: I am Bowser from Sonic, OK?
KID: You’re not Bowser.
[♫MGS2 Plant Sneaking Theme♫]
[TEAMMATE LAUGHING]
[MUSIC CONTINUES]
Teammate: “It’s exactly like Metal Gear”
DUNKEY: Dammit!
God–
[MGS2 MUSIC CONTINUES]
[METAL GEAR ALERT SOUND, MUSIC STOPS]
DUNKEY: Oh no,
nonono, no!
[Music start again] Okay…
Ooh!
Ooh.
Another guy…
[LAUGHING]
“HUH?”
“What was that noise?”
DUNKEY: He still doesn’t know.
Like taking candy…
FUCK!
No! [LAUGHS]
Come o–
TEAMMATE: Look at Chewie!
[CHEWBACCA CRY]
KID: Yeah I thought Kylo Ren was really cool until he took his mask off.
He’s kind of a baby.
PLAYER: Just like you, you fuckin’ troglodyte.
Shut the fuck up, you pre-pubescent motherfucker.
DUNKEY: Let’s just calm down, and let’s go watch my show:
Fresh Prince of Bel Air
Starring me,
Carlton Banks.
KID: You’re so dumb because
you think that
umm
the picture–
that guy is Carlton Banks.
DUNKEY: Shut the FUCK up, kid,
I’ll fucking kill you!
FANBOY: Oh my god Dunkey it’s you!
Oh my god!
DUNKEY: No…
FANBOY: [INDISCERNABLE RAMBLING]
Oh my god Dunkey it’s actually you.
CARLTON BANKS: I’m Carlton Banks
you stupid retard.
FANBOY: Dunkey just spoke to me,
this is the best day of my life.
Terrorist voice: “I am planting the bomb.”
TEAMMATE: Oh my god Dunkey’s planting the bomb.
DUNKEY: You gotta get out baby,
you gotta get out.
Say goodbye to your gun.
Say “bye bye”
PLAYER: Goodbye!
What?
DUNKEY: WHAT?
[SCREAM]
DUNKEY: Alright for this move
you shoot all the bullets outta the clip, right.
And then you look for a guy using the pistol.
And you just hand this off to him.
There you go.
And then you just shoot
the shit out of that guy.
Ooooh…
HEADSHOT
BITCH!
Haha! Ha…
Fuck you,
Hitler.
Fuck you,
Donald Trump.
Fuck you,
Trumpler.
UNCLE PHIL: Geoffrey?
Break out Lucille.
DUNKEY: Now you messed up…
Max sensitivity.
Max pain, baby.
Here we go.
Ooh I see him
I see him
oh god.
I cranked the sensitivity too high…
I can’t even look at him
in the right direction.
Am I shooting him?
Am I killing him right now?
Am I shooting him in the head?
[YELLING]
Gotcha.
Could be a guy–
Ohoo ha!
I got him!
I got him I–
Ahh!
[LAUGHING]
AHHHH!
What’d you pick man?
OPPONENT: Rock.
DUNKEY: Well I picked paper!
Oooooh!
Through the fire!
Headshot!
Bitch!
Ooohoooo!
That’s what I’m talking about!
Say cheese!
BOP!
Boing!
Chooo!
Ooooh,
shhhiiit!
Oooh!
Through the wall.
Ooohhoho
[EXTREMELY SLOWED DOWN] OHHHH!
Howdy y’all,
welcome to painting with the Dunk.
Today we’re going to start off with a nice,
umm
titanium black
Glock.
We’re gonna start drawing the base–
Excuse me,
excuse me.
One sec.
We’re gonna start by drawing
the base of the head.
[LARRY OWENS – INTERLUDE (BOB ROSS THEME)]

96 thoughts on “CS GO : Source

  1. Oh my god dunkey just talked to me this is the best day of my life.

    Im CaRlToN bAnKs YoU sTuPiD rEtArd

  2. " just like you fuckin troglodyte, shut the fuck up you pre-pubescent motherfucker " – that gets me everytime

  3. I have tears in my eyes for how good I laughed! 😂😂😂 Thank you Dun-Dun! With you since day 1!

  4. The most unfunny content I’ve ever seen. This guy just try’s to hard to be funny and it’s annoying.

  5. When he said I'm Carlton banks you retard I noticed that my brother was watching fresh prince on Netflix I just started laughing uncontrollably

  6. I’ve watched this video like over 5 times and this time I watched fresh prince of belarh (however you spell it) and i finally understood it and it made it funnier

  7. I can agree with the kid. Kylo Ren was kinda cool until he took his helmet off. I get that the point of the character is that he's really just a pathetic tryhard, but ehh… He's just Dark Helmet but you're supposed to take him seriously. It doesn't work.

  8. I don’t get why people in online games always say f****t. It’s homophobic. If you said that in public you’d be destroyed.

  9. Can we talk about the real Hero here? The dude who did the captions for this video put the name of the song at the end in the captions instead of just [Music]…
    "[Larry Owens – Interlude(Bob Ross Theme)]"

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